What love is...

In a recent series of sermons my pastor preached, he made the comment, "Love is action". His meaning was a bit more involved than that, but basically he was saying that you can't love without action - love's essence is action.

I had trouble with that. I was writing some devotions for the series, so we had a discussion to make sure we were on the same page. In practical terms we were - in the outworking of love...but we still disagreed.

You see, I have heard love defined as action or an act of your will or feelings or commitment...and none of those "do it for me". (Not that "doing it for me" is necessarily a good indicator of what is right or wrong, but you want to get to the point where the truth "does it for you" if you can.)

My problem with all the definitions (except feelings) was that it didn't have to involve the heart, and I just cannot conceive of love without heart. In fact, in my talks with my pastor, I stated that if love is in essence action, I don't want it.

So, feelings were the closest I could get to a definition for a time, but I knew that love defined as feeling wasn't going to wash in the real world. And then one day, as I was sitting on...well, it doesn't matter where I was sitting...it came to me...

Love is valuing.

What? you say.

Valuing. Love is holding something or someone as valuable. It should involve action, it can involve an act of your will, it can involve commitment, and it can involve feelings...but none of those things are necessary! Not only that, but it fits every different way we use love in our language today - I love ice cream (I like ice cream - it has some value for me), I love my wife (My wife is valuable - precious to me), I love riding motorcycles (Riding motorcycles is fun and so has value for me) etc. etc.

Now, can you believe it? I told my pastor this, and he still thinks you can't love without action! But I disagree. The Bible warns against loving only with word and tongue, but it doesn't say love can't be only word and tongue. In fact, the way the Bible uses "love" fits in better with valuing than action. Action should be the outworking or demonstration of love, but it is not love.

Still, I need to make qualifications. Love is only part of the semantic domain of the word "valuing". I believe you can value without "loving" in the Biblical sense of the word (our language equates loving and valuing more closely than the Bible does). Love is a royal way of valuing, something that involves the heart. You can't say to your wife, "I value you", and expect the same reaction when you say, "I love you", because valuing encompasses a wider meaning than "love".

Therefore, to value is not necessarily to love, but love is valuing.

My pastor and I have agreed to disagree. :)